“Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.”
--Philippians 2:14-15 (NLT)
I was reading an article the other day that said that research shows that the AVERAGE PERSON COMPLAINS 30 TIMES A DAY.
30 TIMES A DAY.
When I first read that stat I thought, that seems a little high, doesn’t it?
But truly, when you add up the conversations we have with people face to face, on the phone, in a text message or email, you start to see that there are many opportunities for us to complain in a day. Add social media to the equation and suddenly 30 COMPLAINTS A DAY doesn’t seem too far-fetched anymore, right? What about the complaints we make internally to ourselves, those count too don’t they? I think so.
So when you think about all the different ways we can complain, argue, or bicker with each other or even to God…it makes sense why Paul said in Philippians to, “DO EVERYTHING without complaining and arguing.” He realized that as human beings we can turn ANYTHING into something negative, so that means it’s even more important that we must commit to try and join the fight of staying positive in EVERYTHING that we do, say, and think. If that sounds unmanageable, remember that with God we are more than capable of doing seemingly impossible things.
So why do we complain?
Dr. Laura Markham, a Clinical Psychologist from Columbia University gives an answer to this question by stating:
“It’s the grown-up version of whining; an expression of powerlessness.
Just to be clear, stating needs is not complaining, as long as you’re not making the other person wrong. Expressing emotion such as sadness is not complaining, as long as you aren’t making your feelings the other person’s fault. We all need to feel seen, heard, and understood. There’s nothing wrong with sharing our feelings about what’s been hard for us; that helps us let go of them and move on.
Complaining is when we blame others, or life, instead of accepting the situation and taking responsibility to make things better. It can become a habit; the story we tell about our lives. “You won’t believe how awful my day (week, year, life) has been.”
You can see it can’t you?
How her words pierce the heart of what we all struggle with and why we make the choice to complain so much? At the root of it all is a feeling of powerlessness that drives us to prove that we are not weak. Then in vain we complain and blame others to make ourselves feel stronger and better about our lives, and the tragedy is, the more we practice this behavior…the easier it gets to keep doing it. Even at the expense of our own character and growth and the impact we can have on others for Christ.
Paul knew back then that the Philippians were in a dark place within the world around them and within their own hearts and minds. These things helped to motivate them to make the choice to lash out at each other and complain to God about their short-comings…and if we’re honest, do we not live in this same kind of world today? The kind of world that Paul said was full of the crooked and perverse. If you don’t see that reality in the world today, then I respectfully implore you to open your eyes and look around. It’s important that you do.
Why?
Because as children of God, we need, “to shine like a bright light in this world…”
I think Paul expressed this sentiment because he knew that no matter what, the enemy was going to do everything he could to keep the world as dark and negative as possible. Because of this Paul understood that the Philippians work of being the representatives of God’s light, was all the more important.
You see, being in a dark and negative space should not motivate us to complain and be fearful.
Instead this dark world we live in should give us an even greater incentive to shine.
Deep down, we all know that this is our purpose.
We all know that this is what we need to be aspiring too.
Let’s do our best to leave our complaints, blaming, and pointing fingers, behind us. We don’t have to act out the way the world does. We don’t have to, “go with the grain” or the flow. It’s okay if we’re the splinter.
SHINE brothers and sisters. SHINE.
