I close my eyes and I see their faces flash one after another, like rays of light passing through the spokes of a moving bicycle tire when the sun is setting; and darkness begins to splash across the ground in a black shadow. I see the hurt and confusion on the faces of my family, friends, and complete strangers…I feel what they feel because on some level I’ve felt it myself…hell, we all have maybe.
So what do you do when it seems like nothing you do matters to your husband? What do you do when at 29 years old your parent’s still chastise every decision you make because they refuse to acknowledge the adult before them? What do you do when your girlfriend constantly reminds you of the mistake you committed in the past? What do you do when you’re a success in everyone’s eyes but your wife’s? What do you do?
The truth is at some point we’ve all dealt with people that carry around negative attitudes. And if we’re completely honest, sometimes we’re that very person who is the most negative towards others.
I know I have been.
It’s going to happen. Someone’s going to remind you that while you have a great relationship with your new girlfriend, you still cheated a few years ago on someone else. Someone’s going to remind you that while you may have that awesome new career, you still put yourself in college loan debt for the foreseeable future. Someone’s going to remind you that no matter how happy you are, life will somehow always throw curve balls of difficulty your way.
It’s frustrating, isn’t it? The negativity. But it’s going to happen.
So how do we deal?
Let’s start with Ecclesiastes 7:20-21, “There is not a righteous person on earth who always does good and never sins. Don’t take to heart all that people say…”
Sounds kind of simple doesn’t it? The “don’t take to heart all that people say.”
Trust me; I know it’s not simple. Especially if family or close friends are involved. But honestly God has given us the strength to deal…we just have to ask for it. Remember that it’s never good enough to go through life just expecting things to happen to you. That’s reacting and not taking action. That thick skin we need to grow to handle people’s negativity is not going to just happen by itself, we need to be intentional about asking God to help us. Only an open heart to Him will allow us the strength to remain standing tall and inject truth into the situation.
And what is that truth?
It’s that no matter what our past may look like, God still loves us and has a better more purposeful future for our lives then we could ever imagine. And the awesome thing is no one is disqualified no matter what someone with a negative attitude might have to say about it. The past is past no matter what the story is. I like what Jon Acuff said:
“God found Gideon in a hole. He found Joseph in a prison. He found Daniel in a lion’s den. He has a curious habit of showing up in the midst of trouble, not the absence. Where the world sees failure, God sees future. Next time you feel unqualified to be used by God remember this, He tends to recruit from the pit, not the pedestal.”
BOOM!
Can we just get behind that? Can we just give God so much thankfulness that He makes us something truly valuable, no matter how a friend, family member, or even the world may see us; God has something for us all, we just have to reach out and get it!
What else can we do?
Flip it on those that choose to be negative.
“Encourage each other every day – for as long as we can still say “today” – so none of you let the deceitfulness of sin harden your hearts. For we have become partners with the Anointed One – If we can just hold on to our confidence until the end.” –Hebrews 3:13-14
Flip it…be an encouragement to everyone…even to those that try and bring you down. It’s not being fake; it’s being purposeful with our lives and taking hold of what God has called all of us to do.
For as long as we can still say, “today” we have a purpose in this life.
Brothers and sisters no matter where you are in life, you are valuable and loved.
You have purpose.
Believe.
