I was in my mid teens when I first heard music from a band called DCTALK. They had a little of everything in their music...electric guitars, a rock sound, catchy songs and vocals, and even rap lyrics that to this day still float around in my head randomly. DCTALK was one of the first Christian bands to push the main stream music line. I remember watching MTV and seeing a few of their music videos being played and thinking how cool it was that God's Message was starting to find a home there (even on a small scale).
A big part of the bands success were the lyrics of their songs written by a man known as TobyMac. His raps melded with DCTALK's sound perfectly and spoke truths in a way that even a country boy like me could appreciate and understand. It was not at all surprising that when the band stopped making music together, and each member started solo careers, that TobyMac's proved the most resilient.
I remember when his first single "Extreme Days" hit radio. It seemed like that song was playing all the time! Over the last twenty years his music has matured and grown and become more apart of the Christian music culture. You'd be hard pressed to find many brothers and sisters in Christ who had never heard of, "Irene", "Momentum", "Lose my Soul", "Scars", "Made to Love", "Lights Shine Bright", "Till the Day I Die", and so many other songs that Toby has created. He's truly made an impact.
I think sometimes, when an artist reaches a certain level of success and popularity, as fans, we can lose sight of their humanity a little bit. We forget that they're people like us and have families and personal, intimate lives, going on behind the lens of a camera or strum of a guitar.
I was reminded of this fact a couple of months ago when I read a news article telling the tragic news of the death of TobyMac's son. He was 21 years old and just starting a career in music himself from the sound of it. Toby wrote on his social media accounts of his son's death and the struggles he was facing as a young man. I remember how the heartbreak in Toby's words pulled at me in that moment and how my own father's heart hurt for him.
A couple of days ago I was brought back to Toby's world by way of a music video he released called, "21 Years". I watched the video and was overwhelmed by the song. Lyrics that detail the ache a father feels in the wake of his child's death and the strength it takes to live in that reality. The song asks hard questions and gives insight to the hope Toby has that one day he'll be with his son again.
Seeing Toby in the video is inspiring, but at the same time a tug at the heart. He's a strong man, but his hurt is evident with each tearful and sometimes blank stare he gives. Close to the end of the song, Toby's voice echos in a scream that brought tears to my eyes as I watched the video a second time with my wife. A stark reminder that sometimes words fall short of telling how we feel. Sometimes all that's left are our screams....and that's okay.
That's what makes us all so beautifully human.
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