Returning to social media was a BIG deal for me. It's not something that I took lightly--as a matter of fact, it's not something I'd planned at all. I had spent 3 years enjoying life away from the microscope. That's 3 years of not scrolling through Instagram while my family watches a movie. 3 years of guarding the precious lives of my children. 3 years of not comparing my own success to the success of others. 3 years of not measuring my worth by a thumbs up. 3 years of enjoying life without worrying about posting ANY of it to Facebook. And, I'll be honest... I enjoyed every minute of it.
There's a freedom you feel when you finally decide to let go of something toxic, and that's what social media had become to me. It was no longer a place where I could share life and be joyful in it. It became a source of anxiety.
Who will judge what I'm saying here?
Which family member is going to be hurt by something that I posted today?
Who is going to inadvertantly hurt me without knowing it?
Why do people quarrel in private, then make it look like everything is okay publicly?
Who is knee deep in my profile, observing my every move, but has no intention of being my "friend"?
Who is feeling insecure in their life or in their faith, because they aren't experiencing the same things I am?
Who will notice that I purposefully cropped this picture in an effort to hide my comfortably married body?
Who will call me out on not being "real"?
When you have to ask yourself all of those questions before you even open the app, it's time to let go. So, I did.
I'm not saying that social media is all bad. If it were, you wouldn't be reading this right now. I would have wiped the slate clean and never given it a second look. But, as most of you know, I have experienced personally just how amazing it can be. Facebook brought me one of the greatest blessings of my life. If I hadn't seen a blog post on a friend's timeline, nearly 7 years ago, I wouldn't be married to my best friend... I wouldn't have 2 beautiful daughters... and I wouldn't be where I am today. God used social media to bring us together... I am certain of that. With that knowledge, I know that it can be used for SO much good... but I do feel like it's very important to understand that it's delicate. It's not a place to put every single thought or idea you have. It's not a place to be negative or judgemental. It's not a place to hurt people. It's not a place to brag or bring others down. It's not the best avenue for communication. It's not the best way to share. It's not the best way to measure what's important. It's not a cited source. It's not a place to hide.
As my teenage daughters near adulthood, I take extra caution when I think of the proper way to wield this platform. It's amazing how becoming a parent can make you take a step back, observe your own habits, and evaluate whether or not those habits are things you actually want to pass along to them or not. I choose not to drink or do drugs or curse, not only for myself, but because I want to be a positive role model for my kids. I choose to stay faithful to my husband, not only for the health and sanctity of our marriage, but also because I want them to know that marriages CAN last. I choose not to over-indulge on dessert or go back for seconds because I want my kids to see their mom trying to be healthy in hopes that they'll choose healthy lifestyles too. I choose to read my Bible in front of them and talk about my daily devotions, so they'll be inspired to grow their relationship with God. And now, I'm choosing to not have social media apps on my phone, so they'll know what it looks like to have a parent who is present... so they'll know that it's normal not to have everything at your fingertips. I want them to understand that being social requires SO much more than a "like". I pray that they have confidence knowing that no amount of followers can measure their worth. Most of all, I want to teach them that life is not inside the screen of a cell phone. Life is out THERE. The world is wide open, and God is even bigger than the world. My hope is that they will soak in that truth and live by it, and never have to experience the anxiety that can come from making people or things or the internet a god.
So many magic moments can be missed if we don't take the time to be intentional about our habits.
Here's to finding ways to use social media for GOOD. Friends, let's work together to shine God's light through this platform as much as we can... but always remember when to take a step back and be in the moment.
So thankful for you all.
-Courtney
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